We all make mistakes in words and deeds. What we do next is crucial. We will often be judged and remembered, not so much by our mistake but rather by our reaction to them. 

We should first admit and even owned our errors. A French proverb says: An Error confessed is half forgiven. 

Offering an apology may be the right thing to do. Sometimes an apology is not warranted but just politically expedient. In such apologies, the absence of sincerity is evident.

Recently, Senator Joe Biden made the following comment in an interview with the New York Observer:

I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

That comment created an instant uproar both in the US and abroad. I heard on Radio France International.

The New York Times reports that Senator Biden admitted he had been “quoted accurately” and that he had call Senator Obama to express regrets that “his remarks had been taken out of context.”

The following day, Senator Biden appeared on The Daily Show and treated his remarks very lightly and jokingly and said that he was not very articulate.

I do not think that Senator Biden’s reaction qualifies for a true and honest apology.

A true apology is accompanied by remorse.

Michael Richard’s grief about his racial outburst at the Comedy Club was palpable when he appeared on the David Letterman show. You could truly feel his pain and remorse.

Finally we should not add an excuse to our apologies, such as “I was caught off guard” or “I was tired.” That is a mistake. An excuse to an apology can nullify the apology. “I was caught of guard” is really saying that I was unable to hide my true feelings. 

Some years ago Billy Graham, made an apology to the Jewish Community about some negative comments he made about Jews to President Nixon more than 30 years ago. The tapes of his conversation with the President had been released by the National Archives. He offered the following public apology:

“I can not imagine what caused me to make those comments, which I totally repudiate, for whatever reasons, I was wrong for not disagreeing with the President and I sincerely apologies to anyone I have offended.”

His apology was accepted by the ADL.

I think he could have gone a step further. He could have said:

“I really do not understand how I could possibly have made such a comment. I do not believe that I was or that I am anti-Semitic but I need to search my own soul to make sure.

Anti-Semitism, racism and prejudice can hide deep in our psyche and none of us is immune to its potential corruption.

King David, (my favorite poet) gives us the perfect model of a humble attitude that we should have when we apologize for such offenses.

He wrote: Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me.”